RE: Faculty Member in the Ornithology Department Opening

To whom it may concern,

I am listing some traits I possess, most suitable for the opening in the Faculty of Ornithology. Several of my publications involve the persistently difficult to consume Tweety Bird, a rare specimen of a canary. I have documented its behaviours extensively and have branched into other similar topics of detailed and immersive research, including that of mice and pigs. My wide-ranging experience and flexibility in the workplace may be suitable for cross-disciplinary opportunities. I also actively participate in service for disadvantaged members, as evidenced by my support of Granny and her knitting hobbies. I am keen to continue my work with a supportive faculty that encourages exploration studies and diversity in the field.

Yours,
Sylvester J. Pussycat Sr.

Context: “enrichment” portion of a lab meeting. What would it look like for a cartoon character to apply for a faculty job?